Why Gestalt?
WHOLE BODY FOCUSED
More and more research is showing that a cognitive, top-down approach alone is not enough for people to heal. For anyone who is struggling, their bodies hold the stress of being them.
Our nervous systems, physical tensions and facial expression are all signs of a nervous system in need of support. What’s called for here is more awareness of the tension, freezing and distress we carry in our bodies—so we can learn how to support them. Somatic awareness, breath work, uncovering unconscious habit loops and developing self compassion are all skills we build together.
When we cannot stay with discomfort, we end up being driven by it. If we are stuck in our lives, there are physical sensations—usually intolerable ones—that we need support to feel and respond to, rather than be driven by.
Relationality: more then just a buzzword
A great deal of contemporary research is shows that attachment trauma occurs when, as children, we are not met with sensitivity to who we really are. More often than not, this is not something that happens out of malice—it’s generational. Caretakers and authority figures cannot give the emotional support they themselves never received. In relational therapy, the relationship between therapist and client becomes a new, safe and honest space to explore how earlier relationships and experiences have shaped your perception of yourself and your world—and to begin questioning their accuracy.
Many people start therapy, not liking or valuing themselves that much, whether they're aware of it or not. This will inevitably interfere with their ability to be in relationship with others. If we can't support ourselves enough to value our own unique reality, we’ll struggle to hear and value the unique experiences of others.
Being relational also means that I’m aware that my presence has an impact on you. Our relationship becomes the context in which different aspects of you can emerge. Together we can learn together about all the quirks and qualities of you being fully you with another.
full of paradox
Always grumpy with others? Maybe you're being too generous with people. Tired of playing it nice? Getting in touch with your anger might actually bring some relief to those around you. Out of control? You may not be giving yourself enough slack.
Based on the paradoxical theory of change, Gestalt works on the premise that we cannot change our situations until we have deeply accepted and understood exactly where we are starting out. Another way of saying this is that as soon as our relationship with a challenge has changed, the challenge may no longer be perceived as an obstacle. Maybe more like the playground equipment for your life...
This is an important difference from other approaches where will-power is held to be the arbiter of success. Although it's hard to not be drawn to models in which we can triumph over our challenges with effort and more effort, where many people get stuck is in not owning their real limitations. Contrary to how this may sound, this does not mean giving up, but instead starting on the firmer ground or real-life limitations—and growing from there.