What we work on together

Boundaries and Communication Skills

Relationship struggles often come down to one thing: we haven’t yet found the courage to say what’s true for us. We hold back to protect others or we blame them for needs we never clearly expressed. The work is learning to know what you need and then to risk asking for it.

What's usually called for is an increase in our capacity to sit with the discomfort of negotiating our differing needs, with even those closest to us. We need to risk our small-t truths more often, and learn to stay at the table whatever the other person's response. As any professional negotiator has learned: being willing to hear no, can bring a lot more of what you deeply want into your life. 

Breaking old patterns

We turn to coping mechanisms—binge-watching, internet surfing, spending, drinking, drugging, eating, co-dependent relationships—when we can no longer tolerate reality as it is. Something happens, or nothing does, and suddenly we want to run from our current experience. Whatever the trigger, coping mechanisms offer innocent relief with consequences that build quietly over time. At best, we're taking a break from facing our challenges. At worst we're moving in the direction of self-destruction…when what we really need is growth. 

Unhealthy coping is something everyone struggles with to varying degrees. Even worry, physiological urgency and problem-solving can be addictive in nature. We can only let go of harmful behaviours once we have real support and understand what change practically requires. Most of us were never shown that, and that’s no small thing. 
 

Learning to be on your own Team

There is no substitute for liking who you are. Depression, poor self-care, pushing yourself beyond your limits, seeking affirmation from others when what you really need is your own—all of these trace back to the same root cause: a difficult relationship with yourself. 

Despite our culture's loud celebration individuality, we're not that good at actually nourishing the uniqueness in each and every one of us. Together we can find out what you need to know about yourself so that you can live fully, stay grounded in your values and hold your own when the world pushes back.